HP: How am I supposed to live Without You
by Live-4-CM
Summary: Aaron realizes just what he has lost a little to late. He loves Emily and he needs her. Will he ever win her back?


Author's Note: This story is dedicated to Angel N Darkness who is in the hospital. Get better soon Crystal.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or How Do I Live Without You or Say What You Need to Say.

Song Title Prompt: How Do I Live Without You by Michael Bolton

Song Title Prompt: Say What You Need to Say by John Mayer

Song Title Prompt: Tell Me Why by Taylor Swift

_I could hardly believe it  
When I heard the news today  
I had to come and get it straight from you  
They said you were leavin'  
Someone's swept your heart away  
From the look upon your face, I see it's true  
So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the  
plans you're makin'..Oh...oh  
Tell me one thing more before I go_

Aaron wasn't sure what he should do. He still loved Emily with all of his heart but he was just told that she was moving on with someone else. He knew that he needed to hear it from her but he was nervous. Even though he was nervous he stood up from his desk and walked over to his office door.

"Prentiss could I see you up in my office for a minute please?" Aaron called down into the bullpen.

When he saw her look up at him his heart stopped. Just one look into her face and eyes and it felt as if all of his hopes and dreams have came crashing down around his feet. He watched as she got to her feet and walked towards him without saying a word. For some reason he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Once she was close to him he motioned her past him and then followed her into his office and closed the door.

He moved to stand directly in front of her and said "You found a new love? You have moved on from what we had?"

Emily knew that this minute would come and even though she tried to prepare herself for it she didn't succeed. She winched when she saw the pain in his eyes. She would freely admit to herself that she was still in love with this man but she would be damned if she let him or anyone else know that.

She took in a deep breath and looked him straight in the eyes. "Yes, Aaron I have moved on. You didn't love me enough to keep me. You broke my heart and all these months even though you look at me not once, not once Aaron have you came up to me and tried to fix what you did. Was I supposed to wait for forever? Was I supposed to stay alone for the rest of my life?"

_Tell me how am I supposed to live without you  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long  
How am I supposed to live without you  
How am I supposed to carry on  
When all that I've been livin' for is gone_

Aaron sucked in a breath at her raw truthful words. He knew that he had hurt her. He knew that he had broken her. Why did he do what he did all those months ago? He has been asking himself that question since he did it and he still hasn't come up with an answer and he doubted if he ever would.

"I know that what you are saying is the truth and I am sorry. But don't you think I deserved to hear it from you and not from someone else? Damn it Emily I still love you. How am I supposed to live without you?" Aaron said in anguish.

Emily just looked up at Aaron from sad eyes. "You don't love me Aaron. Or if you do you don't love me enough. Just say what you need to say so that we can move past this."

Aaron took a step forward and leaned his head forward so that his nose was touching Emily's nose. "I love you Emily and I want you back. I can't stand the thought of you with someone else. I want to be the one kissing you, holding you and loving you. I need to be the one doing all this. I need you Emily and I'm tired of fighting the need I feel for you."

_(I didn't come here for cryin') Too proud for cryin'  
Didn't come here to break down  
It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end  
And how can I blame you  
When I built my world around  
The hope that one day we'd be so much  
more than friends  
And I don't wanna know the price I'm  
gonna pay for dreaming..oh...oh....  
When even now it's more than I can take_

Emily looked at Aaron and saw the tears that were in his eyes. She was sure that he didn't even notice that his eyes had filled with tears. She couldn't believe he was saying this now just when she had given up all hope and is finally trying to move on. She badly wanted to say I love you back to him but she held it in. She couldn't afford to let him in again. She couldn't afford to have her heart ripped out of her chest again.

"I can't do this Aaron. I can't keep doing this. I gave you everything I had and you threw it back in my face. I loved you Aaron and you broke me and my heart. Now that I am finally able to get past that you want to drag me back to that? What the hell Aaron? I let you go when you told me it was over and after I tried and tried to make you see sense. Why now? Is it because I am finally over you? Is it because I am finally able to move on? Why don't you move on yourself Aaron? Quit trying to blame me for what you did!" Emily said in an angry voice.

Aaron was taken aback with the bitterness in her voice. He knew that he had hurt her but he didn't know that he had made her so bitter and made her think that he blamed her.

"I don't blame you Emily. How can I blame you? I know that I'm the one who ruined our relationship. I have known it since I did it. Do you think just because I ended it that my love for you stopped? Do you think that just because I was the one to end it that I didn't hurt? I have hurt every day since I broke it off with you. I have regretted it ever since Emily. I just didn't know what to say or do to make it up to you. I didn't bring you up here to argue with you. I didn't bring you up here to make you feel bad. I just wanted to know why I didn't hear it from you?" Aaron said in a grim voice.

_Tell me how am I supposed to live without you  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long  
How am I supposed to live without you  
How am I supposed to carry on  
When all that I've been livin' for is gone_

Emily turned on her heel and headed towards Aaron's office door and once she was at it and had it opened she turned to face him once more and said with tears choking her "You didn't hear it from me because I didn't want to hurt you. Just because I am finally moving on Aaron it doesn't mean that I don't still love you in some way, shape or form. And it definitely doesn't mean that I want to see you hurt or hurting."

Aaron opened up his mouth to say something but before he got the chance Emily walked out of his office and shut the door behind her. He walked back behind his desk and sat down on his office chair hard. He put his head on his desk and let the tears come. He was never one to let loose and cry but he just couldn't hold the tears back.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there crying but finally the tears stopped flowing and he sat back up. He knew he had work to do but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He sat back in his office chair and leaned his head against the back of it as he closed his eyes again. The memories kept flashing through his mind. He saw himself holding Emily, kissing her, and loving her. He tried to shut his mind off and he couldn't. He wasn't really sure if he even really wanted too because it looked liked all he would have now is the memory of her being held by him, kissed by him and loved by him. He wasn't sure how he would keep going on. He felt as if he needed her more than he needed air to breathe.

When he opened his eyes he was shocked to find her standing just inside his office looking at him in concern. He must have really been into his memories of their time together because he didn't even hear his office door open or shut. He shook his head as he thought maybe now was the time to give up the job. He couldn't do this without her he knew but he also knew he would have to do it without her.

_And I don't wanna know the price I'm  
gonna pay for dreaming...oh..oh..  
Now that your dream has come true_

Emily stood there staring at Aaron and couldn't believe that he had actually cried. The proof was still there on his wet cheeks and her heart skipped a beat. She knew that even though she had found someone she halfway liked that she couldn't stay with him. She needed Aaron in her life and by the looks of him right now he needed her just as much. She wondered why after all this time had he finally realized that he needed her. She wasn't going to ask though because as she looked deep into his eyes she saw the truth.

She knew there was no way she was going to stop herself from loving him or going back to him. She really didn't want to stop herself either. She needed to end both of their misery. She gave him a small smile as she walked towards him.

"Aaron don't cry. I love you and I have always loved you. I want you and nobody but you. I realized that as soon as I walked out of your office. I need you like you need me. We can work it out Aaron. I know that we can. I love you." Emily said as she came to a stop in front of him.

Aaron grasped Emily's hands in his and then stood up and pulled her to him. "I love you Emily I really do. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much I loved you before I ended things."

Emily bent her head back and said "Just tell me why you ended things Aaron? Once you do that we can start fresh."

Aaron closed his eyes and then opened them again. "I ended it because I was scared. I was scared of what I was feeling and I was scared that I would lose you. I didn't think about the fact that even though I wasn't with you it would still hurt to lose you. I almost lost you for good Emily and it was tearing me apart. I need you and I want you. I love you so much. Can you ever forgive me for being so damn stupid?"

Emily chuckled and stood on her toes to give Aaron a sweet kiss. "I forgive you Aaron. Just don't every do something like this again. You are my life. You are my reason for living. You are the air I breathe. I love you."

Aaron smiled a real smile right before he captured her lips with his. Now he didn't have to find out how he was supposed to live without her. He was never letting her go and never letting her out of his sight again. Now that he realizes how stupid he was he would make sure that he did everything in his power to make up for it even though she already told him that she forgives him.

_Tell me how am I supposed to live without you  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long  
How am I supposed to live without you  
How am I supposed to carry on  
When all that I've been livin' for is gone_


End file.
